The AFC always features a rooting guide for Packers fans. Sometimes, it’s ‘Who will make the best Super Bowl matchup.’ Other times, it’s just a rooting guide like this one. AFC is more fun than it’s been in the last several years. Forever, it’s been a given that we would see New England in the Super Bowl. Now, it’s wide open with the Patriots still there like zombies who will not die or want to die. Also, there are six likeable teams if you’re not a Patriot hater (I am not). Let’s dive in here. If you missed the NFC version, check it out.

Get on the Bandwagon
Kansas City Chiefs – Yes, this is the team that I’ll be probably be rooting for more than any team in the playoffs. Chiefs have been tormented in the playoffs. It’s been brutal for Kansas City. They’ve won a Super Bowl, but they’re been tormented through the years in the playoffs. Last year, they somehow lost at home to Tennessee who fired their coach after they lost to New England. A bye in 2016 only meant a weird ice storm that delayed the game, and they lost to a constant thorn in their side, Pittsburgh. 2013 was the ultimate collapse at Indianapolis after being up 35-3. Those are just the recent ones. There are demons in the 90s too that are still fresh. All fans under 30 will get extremely tight if this team goes down early at home. Also, there is SO MUCH bad juju with the Colts. Last team they want to play in the playoffs.

You can talk me into it
Los Angeles Chargers – I love Los Angeles for their players. Keenan Allen is fun. Melvin Gordon is one of my favorite Badgers players. Phillip Rivers is always a fucking blast. Anthony Lynn seems like an awesome dude as well. The only gross thing is Los Angeles. This team should be in San Diego. We should be cheering for the first Super Bowl ever for the city of San Diego. Instead, they’re in shitty Los Angeles.

Indianapolis Colts – This is meathead fan of me, but Colts should give the Packers hope. They were dead last in the AFC South and turned it around to be a playoff team plus a top team next season. Andrew Luck is fun again. T.Y. Hilton is always a blast. We can laugh together at Eric Ebron being actually good on Indy versus on the Lions. Darius Leonard is a great story too. Frank Reich needs to shave tough. He looks like he’s Father Time’s assistant with Adam Vinatieri being actual Father Time.

Baltimore Ravens – These three teams could be any order. I’m putting Baltimore last from a watchability standpoint. Ravens aren’t that fun to watch. Lamar Jackson is definitely exciting but watching a team pound the ball down the field doesn’t do much for me. The Jackson storyline though is fun as hell. I loved him in college and like him in the pros. Ravens games feel like a fucking chore. They always have throughout the years.

Shrug emoji
Houston Texans – I get it for some people. You love JJ Watt. Love the idea of the people’s champ with the hurricane relief effort. There is Deshaun Watson exploding on the national scene. Also, we have the chance of Big Cat losing his pinky. They just don’t do it for me. I can’t get behind the Texans. There isn’t anything secondary for me to get behind them.

Josh McDaniels needs to get Lambeau quicker, please.
New England Patriots – I don’t hate the Patriots. Some will put it in their ‘No chance in the hell’ category. For me if Josh McDaniels is the guy for the next Packers head coach, I’d like the Pats to lose next week and get McDaniels to Green Bay sooner rather than later. Even though I’m not a Patriot hater, I’d like to see someone else in the Super Bowl. While the last two have been fun as hell, I need some variety in my life. Patriots in the Super Bowl for the third straight year would be like missionary sex. Sure, it gets the job done but what’s exciting about it?

Charlie.