Flipping through the copious amounts of television programming tonight, the premiere of Bachelorette happened as well. Rachel Lindsey, former Marquette graduate, had men of all shapes and sizes trying to compete for her heart. With reality shows like this one, we have weird guys compete for the sole fact of being weird. Whaboom guy is going to steal the headlines, but I really think we need to talk about the Tickle Monster and what a fucking psychopath this dude actually is.

Couple things here… one is the look of the tickle monster is creepy. There’s no way he goes up to girls at Florida bars (Where he’s from) and says ‘Hey, they call me the tickle monster.’ There’s no way that works. You can’t turn a girl on by tickling her. In fact, that’s one of the creepier things you can do to a girl. When I did a quick peruse of Facebook, I saw someone excited to see Peter from Madison in the competition as they went to high school together. Could you imagine what this is like for the people who went to the same high school as the fucking tickle monster?

Even worse, what if you slept with this guy? I mean no judgies but goddamn. I don’t know what’s worse when it comes to sleeping with the Whaboom guy or the tickle monster psycho. Either, you’re getting tickled at some point in the session or a guy is screaming ‘WHABOOOOOOOM’ probably around his vinegar stroke. This is one of those times where I feel really bad for women and wonder where it all went wrong for some guys.

Charlie.