Okay, this is a new thing. I’ve wanted to do a Vanderpump Rules recap for a long time. I’m probably doing something similar for The Bachelor upcoming so let’s get into it with Vanderpump. Truth be told, why I didn’t do this sooner is a mystery to me, but we’re here now so let’s have some fun with it. We’ll pick out some of the best moments of the week, quote of the week and fight of the week.

1.) James/Lala vs. The World
Vanderpump Rules wanted to show us what this season is going to be about and that is ‘The gang is all back together minus James and Lala who are outsiders with Tom and new boobs Ariana playing the middle.’ It’s off to a fantastic start. James lashed out at Katie calling ‘pregnant’ and talking about Scheana’s nose job. James’ final move was to act like he jerked off the cranberry juice which is really want you want from a mature individual. People talk all the time about women having ‘daddy issues’, but no one has daddy issues like James.

2.) Brittany/Kristen hookup situation
Okay I have a theory on this and I feel good about said theory. Jax started a rumor that Brittany and Kristen were fooling around, he came home and Kristen was below sea level if you catch my drift. He proceeded to tell everybody about it, and here we go. This will be a much bigger theme next week, but I think this is Jax’s way to get out of his relationship with Brittany. It’s wearing thin on him and he wants a way out. Therefore, he chooses the worst way possible to implode a relationship.

3. Poor Tom Schwartz
I feel bad for Tom because it does seem like he was more happy when the ‘group of four’ didn’t play a part of his life. He predicted what would happen when Katie had her friends over to a T. Now, he chose to be social with them, but you could see it killed him inside to do so. Schwartz is a laid back dude who wants everyone to be friends. He seems like one of the few normal people on this show.

Quote of the Week
“Lala is a c**t, I hate that word, but yeah, she’s a c**t.” Stassi remains my favorite.

Fight of the Week
It was quick, but man, Lala vs. Kristen needs to happen at some point. That brawl would be amazing. I need it.

Chalie.